Sunday, July 30, 2006

Well worn

I've decided that I can't get rid of my copy of The Book.

The main reason for this is that my current plan for getting rid of my books is selling them off, and trust me, no one is going to buy my copy of W & P. Let's start with the fact that a whole chunk of the beginning, the about Leo page through about page 80, just plain fell out. That was a while ago. I used that chunk of pages as a bookmark through much of my reading, in fact.

So, since I can't sell it and might as well add it to the select few books I am keeping, I thought I'd go a little over the top and find some deeper meaning in keeping it.

I mean, I'm still claiming to receive cosmic messages from it and all. This week I have been in agony of indecision and I keep hearkening back to Kutuzov's wise advice to Prince Andrei to "when in doubt do nothing." (Can we talk about how I am STILL in love with Prince Andrei?) I do feel compelled to point out, though, Kutuzov buddy -- this is the SAME ISSUE about which I had this indecision in February. So, um, it's great advice and all, but you'll note that what it really leads to is the same issue still being around five months later. Maybe it's time to try something new.

But I really liked the idea I had the other week of looking at the page number as a date and seeing what insight I could glean from that page. Maybe I will open it to today's "date" and see what it tells me. Maybe I will do that, often.

Am I treating it like scripture? Well, maybe. Why not? The other day my roommate and I were riding the bus and she was talking, very matter-of-factly as my pagan roommates are wont to do, about the recent tarot card reading she'd done for herself. As an afterthought she asked me, "You don't really do the tarot much, do you?" To which I replied, um, no because I do not believe in it. (Sometimes she needs gentle reminders about these things.) She met my skepticism head-on though, with a comment about finding the things we need from various places and how I am always talking about receiving "cosmic signs."

I considered this. Apart from the fact that this roommate often takes me literally and it drives me up the wall, and that 99 time out of 100 my tongue is planted firmly in my cheek when I utter the word "cosmic" and the other time it's planted loosely in my cheek -- and that is quite a feat, by the way, saying "cosmic" with your tongue in your cheek -- it really is true that we humans looking for meaning have more in common than we care to admit.

And what it really got down to was I proceeded to theorize out loud and surely to the dismay of the girl in the seat in front of us about how what's the difference, really between prayer and tarot, or between being inspired by a Bible verse and thinking a song coming on the radio at the right moment is telling me something?

So why NOT keep Tolstoy by my bed and look for meaningful passages when Ihave to make life decisions? Huh?

In light of the above story, this on-line quiz thingy was interesting:

Which freaky subway person is Linda Napikoski?

The guy that sings to himself at the top of his lungs.

'Which freaky subway person are you?' at

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